Fights are normal in a relationship even if you and your partner love and adore each other. Remember, some conflicts will allow you to grow and make your relationship stronger. However, there is a big difference between healthy and toxic fights. So, how often should couples fight? This post will answer this question and give you the various signs of healthy fights.
How Often Should Couples Fight?
Keep in mind that there is no specific number of arguments that can qualify a relationship as “toxic” or “healthy.” As such, even though you and your partner are fighting frequently, it doesn’t mean that you are in a toxic relationship. To determine the type of your relationship, you have to consider the quality of your disagreements or fights. Always remember, a healthy relationship involves couples whose arguments are fair and productive.
Signs of Healthy Fights
1. Healthy Fights are Fair
It is hard to fight fair when we are angry and hurt. Even so, there are couples who respect each other even though they are arguing. But, what exactly is a fair fight? This type of argument is when you and your partner avoid personal attacks and name-calling. Additionally, it is when the two of you avoid using your partner’s past traumas or fears to win the argument. Instead, a fair fight is when you and your partner focus on the issue at hand.
2. Healthy Fights Allow You to Grow
One of the best signs of healthy fights is that the conflict allows you to grow and strengthen your relationship. As such, when you and your partner are fighting, both of you are listening to each other. Aside from that, the two of you are willing to make amends instead of making the argument bigger.
3. Healthy Fights are Finished Fights
Healthy fights end in an agreement or a solution. It is when the two of you re-establish harmony and agree that the issue will not be brought up in the future.
To end a fight on a positive note, you and your partner should discuss your issues when the fight happens. Aside from that, the two of you should also think of a solution instead of making the conflict worse. Always remember that you can re-establish harmony in your relationship by working on your issues.
When Should You be Concerned?
You should be concerned if you and your partner are fighting about an issue over and over again. Aside side from that, violent fights are also alarming. If this is the case, you can seek help from a therapist so the two of you can resolve your issues.
All in all, fighting is normal in a relationship. However, you should know the various signs of healthy fights so you can assess if you need to seek assistance. Other than that, always remember that some fights can make relationships stronger, especially when couples work together to re-establish harmony.
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