Inspirational Woman: Robin McGraw

Q: You mentioned that you and your husband Dr. Phil don’t fight, but you do communicate through your disagreements. Can you give us some advice on having a loving marriage with healthy communication?

The fact that we don’t fight doesn’t mean we don’t disagree, but we communicate with each other without yelling or name-calling. This is a process we put in place from the start because a good relationship is not born; it’s made over time through an ongoing process of loving, unselfish negotiation. In my relationship with Phillip, I learned early on what upsets him, what irritates him, what makes him mad – and I choose not to do those things. And he treats me with the same respect.

Phillip and I started planning our marriage long before we got married by talking about what we expected from each other, and what we could and could not live with. I can actually remember telling Phillip, “I don’t just want to be married, I want to be happily married.” That was my number one goal. And so we began what I guess you could call a negotiation process. It wasn’t just one conversation. It’s been many conversations over the last 40 years, and it’s a conversation we will continue to have. I believe as people grow together as a couple, needs can change, and that’s why the dialogue has to be ongoing.

Is our marriage perfect? Absolutely not. Nobody’s is. We all know that sometimes life gets in the way.

But I believe the success of a marriage is in large part based on the willingness of each partner to do what it takes to meet the other’s needs.

Q: How has being a mother shaped who you are?

Being a mother hasn’t shaped who I am, it IS who I am. Without question or hesitation I can tell you that the achievement of which I am the most proud is that of being a mother. I’ve often said that I believe my purpose on this earth is to be a wife and mother.

I will admit, though, that lately I’ve wondered if that statement was a little premature, because ever since our precious grandbabies were born, I feel like my true purpose is to be a grandmother!! I love those grandbabies so much! As a parent, you worry about getting everything right, but as a grandparent you just love them and then send them home. If they want popsicles for breakfast, OK! It’s love without worry!