Maybe your romantic journey needs a new travel guide?
Falling in love is easy. You just have to be stupid. Staying in love is a challenge, however. You really have to overcome yourself. And this goes for the kids, as well. Children are not the reason your marriage is dull, you are.
There are families who never lose their sense of adventure, and share their traveling experience with each other. Fortunately, some share it with the rest of the world as well, so if you’re curious, check out Pretty Sweet.
But some need to reconnect with their partner once again, overcome the challenge of love to make their partnership a firm foundation for parenting. Here’s how traveling can revive romance.
1. Experience Something New
Essentially, humans enjoy novelty, a bit of the unknown. This is why our relationships last only as much as we’re curious about one another.
Think of traveling as a trip to the unknown. Let this new environment reawaken your natural curiosity. This is a state of mind prerequisite to romance.
2. Seek Out the Change
Don’t return from the trip the same as you went. Novelty is change, which is why we’re always curious about our children, or our projects – because we watch them grow and follow up on change.
But with our partners it’s different. We like the security we have with them and usually prevent any change from disturbing that. But make use of this time together to focus on the changes you see in your partner and support the changes your partner wants to see in him or herself.
3. Be mindful of Experiences, not Expenses
Of course, you probably have some limited budget, but being too cautious and aware of it will make you seem way more practical than romantic. In romance, everything is a celebration of the other.
You want to enjoy your partner, and also make them enjoy your generosity. You want to make them feel like the center of your world. Make it seem like you’re reciting poetry, not the receipt.
4. Intimate Itinerary
Lure your partner to isolated places. This can be a secluded beach or a restaurant booth. It doesn’t matter, they just need to feel cut out from the familiar milieu.
As Robert Greene noted in his Art of Seduction, you want to isolate your partner by creating a quasi-garden of Eden, away from family or friends. But this can happen anywhere, even at home, but traveling definitely helps.
5. Mind the Mood
We usually travel to see another country, hear a different language, experience a different culture and learn history. Of course, this can be enjoyable and exciting, but relationships don’t feed on these things.
Emotions rely more on mood and ambiance. The question is not whether it is useful to spend time here and in this way, but is this the mood your partner enjoys and the mood that makes you enjoy your partner.
6. Don’t Cuddle, Kindle
Sex therapist Stephen Snyder warned couples that cuddling actually pacifies the sex drive. Like we said, passion rises from the unknown and desire comes from wanting something unattained.
Cuddling is the comfort and security we almost take for granted, it is soothing, not invigorating. So try creating intimacy by simmering for a change and refrain from touching too much.
7. Let go of Control
Of course, someone should be partly in charge of where you’re heading, but the main thing about going to new places is that they are unknown. With children, it is hard to accept the unknown and unpredictable. And we don’t just lose the adventurous spirit.
Being in the unknown with your partner is a chance to let go and build trust this way. I don’t know where I’m going, but it’s fine as long as I’m with you.
Being in the unknown with your partner is a chance to let go and build trust this way
Does this ring any bells? Maybe the wedding bells when you said, “I do”. Somewhere between gratitude and gratification, you’ll be able to find it. Not the romance you remember, but the romance to remember.
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