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Do I Really Need to Trust You? The Myth About Trust

A Dualistic Approach to Life

The other day, a friend of mine said she no longer trusts life situations or friends, including me. She is going through a challenging time where big changes, out of her control, are happening. To give you an idea of her challenges, her mother recently passed away after a long-term illness and her father has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. He is expected to pass in the coming months. My friend has been the main caretaker of both unwell parents for the past five years. Her role as caretaker is coming to an end and her family structure is changing significantly. Her world, as she trusted it to be, is being rocked off its axis. Anyone would understand how she could come to the conclusion that nothing and no one can be trusted anymore. But I saw something completely different in all of this—I saw something divine.

When my friend said she trusts no one, including me, I said, “That is great news! I’m glad you don’t trust me. It’s too much pressure to be trusted. Anyway, you don’t need to trust me, you only need to trust yourself—your true self.” She was shocked by my point of view. She said she couldn’t imagine how this was good news since, in her mind, without trust in the world and others, her experience of life now felt completely unsafe and lonely. And why wasn’t I angry and hurt that she doesn’t trust me?

For me, the concept of trust (and it a concept) is part of a dualistic method of experiencing the world—not reality or truth, but a learned point of view that originates from the mind, not the heart. A dualistic method of experiencing the world means we perceive things as opposites, as one or the other, not as a whole. Examples of dualism include happy/sad, healthy/unhealthy, mean/nice, capable/incapable, success/failure, trustworthy/untrustworthy—you get the picture. These are opposite ends of the same pole of a hellish existence that often feels like a prison because they are highly limited in scope. Such conditions and concepts are placed on ourselves and others causing us to feel insecure, confused and even separated from others.

Weak or Powerful is a Matter of Focus

I said above that this dualistic point of view originates from the mind, not the heart. What is the mind? The mind is not the brain, but rather a programmed persona that derives its sense of self from made-up concepts, ideas, roles, conditions and, most of all lies, which leads to a continual misperception of self and others. We are molded to believe in this persona.

One of the fundamental tactics of this programmed persona is that we look outside of ourselves for all kinds of things, like security, love, happiness, and trust. This is the direct opposite of what is in alignment with our pure truth which knows we don’t need to look outside ourselves for anything at all. Being out of alignment with our powerful truth and inner strength, we are made weak. We automatically give away our power by counting on the outside world to save us from a lack of love, to make us feel secure and to make us happy.

So, trust is nothing more than a set-up, or a trick, by the false persona to keep us involved in the false—which keeps us from the truth. When we follow such tricks, our focus is on the trick, rather than on truth and love.

We are placed in a position of weakness when we trust people and things outside of us. Life works in ways that are not understandable by the mind. In order to tap into life as it truly happens, we have to step away from the programmed concepts that tell us otherwise. We have to find our true power once again.

Returning to Your Powerful Truth

The game of trust is a bogus concept built on conditions. Conditions are not from the heart. Only in a system that believes in mistrust do you need trust, and vice versa. In the heart, such concepts and conditions do not exist in any form. We don’t need to believe others are trustworthy or that we can trust certain situations, we just need to trust our heart-self—we need to trust our authentic selves—we need to trust love.

In my friend’s situation, I saw something much deeper than the mind’s point of view going on here. I saw that the entire set of events was meant to release her from her fragile, undependable dependency on the outside world. Her new lack of trust of everything and everyone is a massive movement toward freedom from the forces of the trained, external world that often leaves her feeling unsettled, unsure and alone. She is saying No! to the programmed mind whose ideas of her life do not match her ideas of her life. To me, this was great news for my friend because it meant she was no longer willing to accept the rocky foundation that comes with dependence on the outside world. It meant a shift to her internal being—her soul self—the one who leads with intuition and love.

Real life isn’t truly based on such restrictive concepts as dualism. In the creative, spontaneous world of the heart self, life doesn’t fit into tiny holes and opposites. Life is much more fluid and open in reality. There is a natural flow to it. When we no longer give our trust to outsiders, we cannot be rocked off our centers. We remain solid, never wavering in self-trust, self-dependence, and self-love. The outside world cannot give us what we already have within us. Hoping it can do that leads us down a path of unhappiness and suffering. It is time to break free.

Take a look to see where you are placing trust in someone or something that actually holds you or the other person a prisoner to such beliefs and thinking. Then, let go. It may seem scary to do so, but you will quickly sense freedom, peace and more of your true self. It is here, in this place of peace and love that we find everything we have been looking for.

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