Being in a toxic and destructive relationship can take a toll on your mental health and overall well-being. We find it difficult to accept a new reality, one in which we find ourselves detached from our partner, a reality in which we believe the time has come to separate and move on. No matter how hard of a decision it is, you’ll do more injustice to yourself and your partner if you choose to stay despite your feelings. But when do you know the time has come? Are there any signs beforehand? Read on, as we’ll discuss key signs that indicate it might be time to get a divorce.
Without diving into any psychological depths, we’ll share some important patterns of behavior and feelings that are strong indications of a declining relationship. We do advise seeking out counseling and professional help as the final verdict should never be made because of a whim of yours. Make sure to take into account all the good the person has done and try hard to recall any feelings left.
However, if after all the effort you find yourself feeling emotionally indifferent towards the person or their actions (yes, even if we are angry about someone’s actions, it does not mean we stopped caring; in fact, anger states the opposite), chances are your relationship has lost its spark and you’ll grow intolerant of your partner. Once again, give it some time as it might be just a passing episode of your current mood.
The other half of your bed is empty
A couple can file for a divorce after about a year of living separately. Now, the term separate even refers to couples who are still living under the same roof but sleep and spend their time in completely different rooms of the house. This might be due to financial troubles and the partner’s inability to live elsewhere. Nevertheless, if this has been the case with you and your partner, it might be time to file for a divorce. As the folks at Tailor Law explain if you and your partner have been living different lives, are financially completely independent from each other, are separated most of the time, and don’t spend holidays or vacations together or do any mutual activities, you are entitled to a divorce. Other arguments are a bit less reliable and don’t hold up long in court as they are hard to prove, such as claims of infidelity or the partner’s cruelty (except in the case of physical abuse, which can be proven with the right evidence). These reasons can be eligible depending on the severity of the partner’s actions and for how long they have been going. You can conform to a separation agreement, and the sooner you go for it, the better; the more relieved you’ll feel afterward.
For a marriage, both parties need to keep trying
Another obvious sign of a declining marriage is if only one person in the relationship is making an effort. If you have found yourself being that person and you notice no response from your partner, you might need to talk about it with a therapist or file for a divorce. Negligence of effort is a sign of indifference, and as said before, this can never be taken easily. Find the root of the problem, talk it over with your partner, and try to understand their side of the story.
Thoughts of being with someone else
This is a bit controversial and most might not agree. However, in some instances, if the thoughts are more progressive and active, chances are they are more than simple fantasy. We all may show interest in someone else over the course of time. However, this interest should never surpass the current feeling of curiosity. If, however, these “feelings” and thoughts are recurring and you are growing more fond of them, maybe you should evaluate your relationship and think about its outcome.
Avoiding any discussions
Even avoiding conflict is an indication of a declining relationship, as the couple who keeps on trying is a couple who might prevail. However, if you find yourself avoiding any conflict constantly and are looking for ways to dodge any serious conversation, it means you don’t really care about the state of your marriage or your partner’s attitudes. This can be troublesome and is a clear sign of a looming divorce.
You are struggling to find reasons to stay
Simply, if there is more bad than good in your marriage and if you find it difficult to procreate any reasons to stay married, you might consider a divorce and spare yourself the trouble. This is a clear indication that your marriage harmony has been declining for a while now, and underlying and unresolved conflicts might be the reason. With proper counseling, taken on time, the chance of saving a marriage is drastically higher. However, with most couples, when it comes to this phase, there is seldom any chance of “repairing” anything.
We all want our marriage to work. After all, many have dreamt of this moment their entire lives. Also, there is the social stigma, the lack of self-confidence, and sometimes even the financial burden of living alone. It is a hard choice, but a choice nonetheless, and one which must be made in order for you to keep living your life as you should.