You may not realize that you are the creator of your own experiences in life, but you are. However your day goes .¨ challenging, easy, interesting, boring – you are the one directing it, thought by thought and emotion by emotion. No one else can make or break your day but you. Oh, we like to blame other people, places, events and things for the difficulties we face, but this is misplaced.
In fact, there is no one to blame at all, not even you.
We do, however, have the ultimate responsibility for how we experience life. We also have the ultimate power to shift our focus to create a life experience that works in our favor more often. You may not agree with this just yet, because you will say, “But, I didn’t cause the accident that totaled my car and sent me to the hospital” and if you weren’t at fault, you would be correct. But, there is a difference between causing the event and perceiving the event.
You may not have any responsibility in whatever caused the collision, but you have total responsibility in how you perceive it. And your perception can be that you “go after the person that did this to you and make them pay”. You can feel hate towards the person for years to come as you retell the details of this event over and over, exhibiting anger to a level that one would think the event happened yesterday instead of 5 years ago. Or you can be thankful that you are alive, let the insurance company do its job and move on with your life. You can choose to be compassionate towards the other person, realizing they may also be hurting in many ways and have injuries that need to heal. You can choose see the bigger picture and realize that no matter what happens, this was an event that connected two strangers together in this lifetime and perhaps there is a good reason for that, whether you are aware of what that is at the time or not.
So, there you have it; two opposing perceptions of the same event.
You may also notice that the first perception described is a destructive point of view that delivers us years of stress. The second perception is peaceful, easy and healing. Your choice of one or the other will provide you with vastly different experiences. And whether you believe it or not, it is your choice.
We have the ability to see any event, any situation and any person any way we choose, all of the time. That is powerful information for us because it means we can change our life experience by changing our perception. But, how can you change your perception? First, realize that perceptions come from beliefs and beliefs are taught to us. As such, there are many beliefs about the same thing and beliefs can change over time. Which one is right? Which one is wrong? None is right or wrong. They are just beliefs. We often become so attached to a belief (or beliefs) that we think we have to defend it and make other believe what we believe.
We defend our beliefs as if ours is the right one and we justify whatever action is necessary to protect that belief, often to our detriment. This might be a good place to start letting go of the old in exchange for the new. We can change any belief that doesn’t work in our favor. In fact, we have the right to.
Emotions are based on Beliefs
No event generates an emotion. Events are events .¨ they are neutral .¨ they just happen. You create the emotion about the event based on your beliefs.
This holds true with people, places and material things. The statement, “she made me cry because of what she said” could never be a true statement. It wasn’t what was said that made one cry; it was the belief about what was said that made one cry. This means that nothing is ever about anyone else or anything else .¨ it is always about you. This includes all judgment, anger, guilt, frustration, hate and so on.
Every belief we have comes from a thought, an opinion or an interpretation about a person, an event or a thing. We see something that floats across our radar and we interpret what we think about it and its meaning to us. As we assign meaning to it, and meaning comes from belief, our emotions are created. You may think you are in control of your life, but it is your beliefs that are running the ship, not you. The good news is we can change this and get back in the driver’s seat of life. We can choose the beliefs we want to use to experience life.
It’s also important to realize that beliefs aren’t good or bad, but many of the beliefs we were taught, and still cling to, don’t actually help us in our lives. In fact, they hold us back, make us feel bad about ourselves, separate us from others, make our life difficult and even create chaos in our lives. We deserve better. And life can certainly be a lot easier than we make it. We can practice choosing to uphold the beliefs that work for us and letting go of the ones that don’t.
It does take practice, but we can do it. We just have to become aware of those beliefs that run under our radar screen, the ones that are directing your reactions and your justifications.
All Possibilities Exist
Most of our beliefs are limiting in some way so we are only able to focus on a small percentage of what is really happening in life .¨ we are actually missing the rest of it. Our brains are wired, through the Reticular Activating System (RAS), to screen the overwhelming amount of images and information we receive and focus solely on what is important to us. What is important to us is determined by our beliefs. The RAS is responsible for the Law of Attraction. If there is a big purple angel on the side of the road, you may or may not see it depending on what you believe about angels. You could look right at it, but if you are not attracted to them (i.e., believe in them) based on your beliefs, then you will probably miss it. Just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean it isn’t there. All possibilities exist in the universe for all situations at all times.
If all of that isn’t enough to absorb, here comes another mind-bender: Positive and negative external events do not exist.
Again, the same goes for people, places and things. Anything that is judged as negative or positive by you will solely depend on your beliefs.
Here’s one more mind-bender for the road: Just because a lot of people believe the same thing or because the belief has been going on for centuries, doesn’t make it real or true. Most of all, it doesn’t make it something that works in your favor and is, therefore, in need of change or dropping altogether.
Change Your Mind .¨ Change Your Life Experience
You have the power to change anything in your life simply by changing your beliefs about the event or person. As you change your belief about something, your Reticular Activating System will work with you to sift through the multiple stimuli you receive and to save the new, important information and let the go of the old since it is no longer important to you. Your new focus in life becomes the new belief you chose. This will provide new life experiences for you.
Look at what beliefs you have and see if any of those are limiting in any way.
Notice patterns of reaction such as pain or suffering, unhappiness or stress about events or people. List any situations that make you uncomfortable, argumentative, judgmental and so on.
Ask yourself if a specific belief is working to bring you joy and relief. Then see if you can list the justification next to the reaction and finally the limiting belief that causes the reaction and justifications.
Understanding these will give you the clarity and focus to create the new beliefs that serve you.
You must decide to drop any old beliefs that don’t help you in your life if you are going to create an experience of life that is free, peaceful, healthy and loving. Once you have identified the old belief(s), you can work on letting go. Replace the old belief with a new one that works in your favor. It takes time to uncover these old limiting beliefs and to make the change, but you can do it. We all have the power to shift the planet to a place that works with us rather than against us.
Of course, we deserve nothing less.