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What You’ll Need to Know if You’re in a New Lesbian Relationship

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How do you suggest new couples talk about…

The possibility of discrimination?

Each individual has been encouraged to have a particular mindset about what life should look like, act like, and be like. Demographics and multi-generational beliefs as well as unresolved personal issues are culprits of such divisive discrimination towards anyone who doesn’t fit their mental constructs. Discrimination against anything uncomfortable to others is a cold hard truth and lesbian relationships is a lifestyle, sad to say, many discriminate against. As of this writing, this is still a fact about the lesbian lifestyle and it is vital and wise to create strategies to protect against such judgment and assassination of self worth. It is our right and responsibility to protect ourselves and our personal space. One method of combating discrimination is for a couple to act as a team to collaborate with a game plan in an innovative private way to diminish these hurtful acts. This is one effective strategy to stay united when ugly prejudice rears its distorted head. A physical or verbal cue or a private joke positively and elegantly shared deescalates the negative vibes and lightens up the atmosphere.

The possibility of dating both genders if they’re bi-sexual and not lesbian?

Sexual issues are statistically the cornerstone of so many breakups that would otherwise be a fulfilling long-term coupling.
It is imperative to be absolutely honest about sex in its rawest most naked sense of the act.
Is this your first lesbian encounter? What are your fears? What does having sex mean to you on a personal level?
Are you attracted to the opposite sex and want to have access to a bi-sexual life style? Are you confused about your sexuality? Do you have a strong sexual drive?
Please, out of love, share the intimate details of yourself.

I find it so backwards that we take off our clothes and give our bodies before we give of ourselves spiritually. Truly this is a recipe for commitment disaster. Research supports that it is always more productive to discuss and problem solve potential problems when tackled as a prevention rather than a reaction to an incident made hard to forgive.
Deception out of fear or just lack of timing always corrupts many otherwise positive relationships.

The possibility that one woman might be out and proud and the other closeted and reserved?

Is this a nonnegotiable for you? Can a time limit be set up for both to agree upon to come out?
What are the reasons behind the need for secrecy? Is it a career hazard, concern for children, or something emotionally fueled by personal issues? Nothing positive can come from confusion between two people. Love is also about compromise, problem solving, and authentic devotion to another’s happiness.
Talk, hug, talk, hug, and do nothing in haste.
The love you two share will reveal a beautiful understanding where the other person is coming from providing a door for you both to walk through hand in hand when you are both ready.

Their sexual history?

Humanity means caring for the health and wellbeing of everyone – most importantly, your beloved. If you have had any medical issues concerning your sexual history, by all means put it out there before you do the deed. If your partner asks for information, they are psychologically emotionally ready to hear it. Do tell if they ask.
If not, let it flow, and when you feel safe enough to do so, open your being and your story as spirit leads you.
I find that our stories are more similar than different.

If you’d like to know more about April Kirkwood or purchase her book “Big Girls Do Cry”, check out her website!

aprilkirkwood.com

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