“I am not afraid of my truth anymore and I will not omit pieces of me to make you comfortable.”
For the vast majority of my 26 years on this planet there is one word I would use, without a doubt, far more often than other words. That word or course, would be “sorry.” Part of my overuse of the word was due to my own insecurities. I would instinctually, no matter what happened, blame everything on myself just to avoid conflict. This was so extreme that I would automatically apologize to strangers even if they were the ones who would bump into me. Another part of my reasoning for using this word more often than necessary is because I was so concerned about being polite.
It wasn’t until I took an acting class in high school that I became aware of the fact that I said “sorry” so much. One of his main rules for class was to “NEVER APOLOGIZE”. Now this for me, was an incredible challenge. My anxiety about accidentally saying “sorry” out loud and being publicly shamed for it was motivation enough to not do it. However, it got me thinking about it on a deeper level. My teacher’s reasoning for his “sorry”
rule is because he said we were here to learn and that we should never apologize for wanting to learn and grow. At the time, I didn’t understand this, but now I appreciate it on a whole new level. I started to think about how I could apply this to my own life while still giving out a healthy level of apologies where they were due.
As I was self-evaluating I realized that I was out of harmony and that I could find so much power in being UNapologetic. Now let me preface, everything is all about finding your own personal harmony. Being unapologetic is not a justification for being a jerk. However, for me I was way too far along on the apology scale and could use some confidence. I started realizing that there is absolutely a way to be polite without having to give all of your power away. You don’t have to apologize for everything. There’s so much power in owning who you are, knowing what’s best for you, and not being sorry for having justified reasons to do what you want to do.
Implementing the Rihanna-inspired “unapologetic” attitude not only helped me gain confidence but it made me feel as though I was giving back to myself. After all, only I know what is truly best for me and there’s no reason I should say sorry for being who I am. There’s also no reason why I should be taking emotional hits spelt for the purpose of avoiding conflict. There is a time and a place for “sorry.” It’s time we started living unapologetically.
