Are you a narcissist? Authors Greg Miller, Aaron Hill, and Jack Skeen say you owe it to yourself to find out. Here they share 11 common problems narcissists experience thanks to their destructive behaviors, along with exercises to help the truly self-involved build healthier habits today.
Narcissists are everywhere: in boardrooms across the country, in high school cafeterias, and, of course, online. From their diva-like behavior, never-ending monologues, and rants on social media, they are stirring up a narcissism epidemic. The worst part is, many narcissists spend years, lifetimes even, either unaware of their behavior or unwilling to change it. That’s why, according to Greg Miller—and there’s no easy way to say this—you might be a narcissist, too.
“If you’re preoccupied with being special and feeling superior to others, that’s narcissism,” says Miller, who along with Aaron Hill and Jack Skeen wrote “The Circle Blueprint: Decoding the Conscious and Unconscious Factors that Determine Your Success”. “Narcissists exploit and manipulate those around them and have a high level of self-obsession, believing everyone wants to hear what they have to say.”
It’s not easy to live with, work with, or be friends with a narcissist, say the authors. But while you might assume it would be pleasant to have such a high opinion of oneself, it’s even harder to be a narcissist.
“Narcissists actually do a great deal of suffering, whether they realize it or not,” says Hill. “They can’t have meaningful relationships because they keep a cool distance and behave in ways that alienate others. They often have deeply wounded self-esteem, and they need constant validation to feel content.” Even if you’re pretty sure you aren’t a full-blown narcissist, the authors urge you to check yourself, because you may well have some narcissistic habits that need curbing. Most people do!
No matter where you fall on the narcissism scale, from casual conversation interrupter to raging egomaniac, your life can improve by acknowledging your behavior and working to change it. In The Circle Blueprint, the authors discuss how narcissism is a major culprit in halting your personal development. The book is part of a larger self-improvement program called the Circle Blueprint System, which also includes workbooks and a confidential scientifically validated psychometric self-assessment. The self-assessment is free with the purchase of the book.
“You can find real happiness by repairing damaged relationships, accepting responsibility for your actions, and forging authentic bonds with the people in your life,” says Skeen. “Everyone can benefit from looking for traces of narcissism in their own behavior.”
Keep reading to learn about 11 classic narcissist problems you may be experiencing and some exercises to help you change your behavior and adopt healthier interpersonal habits:
PROBLEM: You believe you’re better, smarter, and more talented than those around you. This greatly impedes your ability to build healthy relationships at work and in your personal life. The sense of being very special, almost extraordinary, is common among narcissists. However, this is alienating to others and hurts your relationship with them.
EXERCISE: Make a list of people you feel you are better than. Now, make a list of people you view as better than you. If you find it much easier to list people toward whom you feel superior, you may begin to recognize how this belief has affected your life.