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STRUGGLE IN THE SHIFT

In this day and age, we are all connected through social media. What we see for the most part are people’s highlight reels, what we live in real life are behind-the-screens footage. The life I’ve let you see on social media is really just my highlight reel…the things I’ve wanted you to see, but if I’m about authenticity and truly sharing my life experience, then I think it’s time I let you see some behind-the-scenes footage.

 

Although amazing, fantastic things are happening in my life, I have to be honest, our life is really difficult right now. Seth and I are struggling to survive. When we left California, we left everything behind, all our personal belongings were sold, we left friends, family, and a big home with a beautiful yard. We did all this because I felt a calling on my life, and to really fulfill my mission, I felt we needed to make a clean start.

 

Up until now I’ve lived a privileged life, pretty much my whole life. I’ve lived some fantastic places, traveled, and really experienced a side a life most people never get to see. I’ve always lived in houses owned by my parents, and really have never known what it was like to exists in this world completely on my own. At 40 years old, due to some property being sold that was in my name, I became a millionaire. With that money I began pursuing my dreams; a fashion brand, clothing store, and finally, something I believed in with everything I had…Blu Seth Farms cosmetic company. We put everything we had into this company, marketed and promoted it, and built an amazing brand by investing our blood, sweat, and many tears, until we started to run out of money. By God’s grace, these amazing people from New York City came along, and we struck a deal. They would continue with what we started, and bring Blu Seth farms to the marketplace. In that deal, a big exchange took place. We now work for the company, but we won’t see any money until the product is sold, this could be months down the road.please don’t misunderstand me, I’m so grateful for this deal, I believe it was divine intervention, it’s our chance to see our dream become a reality. My point is this; we put everything we had into this company, and a lot we didn’t have. At this very moment we are struggling to make ends meet.struggling to survive.

 

In the process of all this, I was healed from an illness, and I believe God put a calling on my life. I was pointed in a new direction, and I’m traveling down an unfamiliar road.
I’ve been struggling with this new life, I’ve found a strength and faith I never knew I had, and really found myself and discovered what I was made of.

 

In the midst of working two, sometimes three jobs, I’ve been writing a weekly column for VIVA GLAM
Magazine, and I finished my book Shifting Points. After working out the other day, I weighed myself for the first time in a long time, I was completely shocked to see that I had dropped 20 lbs. I realized in that moment that I have put so much of myself into this book and left so much behind. It’s really a struggle, this book has not come easy.it comes at a price. Metaphorically speaking, this is a heavy book, 20 lbs to be exact. I’ve never know life the way it is right now, I’ve never had to struggle the way I’m struggling right now. As I’m sitting here writing this in tears, I’m grateful in the struggle, I’m grateful for my strength, and I’m grateful for the inspiration that filled this book and my weekly articles. I’m grateful beyond words for Seth being a rock in my life, he has also been working multiple jobs and has sacrificed so much, and Luigi, Mia, and Paolo’s lives have changed dramatically, they left behind a big green yard and now they only have a balcony…they’ve adjusted, there’re just happy to be with us, and from them I’ve learned so much about accepting and being thankful for the little things and the beautiful people in our lives. These dogs have been amazing and in many ways have saved our lives.

 

There’s a quote I wrote in my book that I believe very strongly, and I understand it more today then I did the day I wrote it.

 

“Sometimes we’re holding on so tight that we don’t allow ourselves to let it go. It’s ok, it’s about trust and faith. By letting go, we let God.”

 

I realized I’ve been holding on so tight to the last piece of my old life, the last thing that I thought associated me with success, wealth, and security…my BMW. I’ve been holding onto to this ridiculous notion because it’s hard to let go of something I’m so attached to and identified with. But, as I was reading this quote I had written, I completely broke down and I realized that it’s time to let it go, I felt in my gut and believe in my heart that God has been waiting for me to let go of this last thing, and just trust and have faith that I’ll be ok…that we’ll make. Seth took this action a few months ago when he sold his Gucci Fiat, and now I realize the time has come for me to voluntarily return my BMW aka “miss Lee”. It’s a huge burden lifted from us. The monthly payments and insurance were just way out of our income bracket at this time…Life has changed.

 

I’d like to share a passage from my book SHIFTING POINTS that inspires me daily, it was spoken to me in a dream, and it was the topic of an article I wrote for VIVA GLAM
Magazine
entitled Shift to Believe.I read it everyday.

 

“We should always know from the deepest place in our souls that God is guiding and directing our every move…keep listening and know that although the road does not seem straight, as long as we keep moving forward in the direction we’re being called…we will be exactly where we’re meant to be at every moment on our journey.”

 

In all this struggle, as hard as life is, we are happier and stronger then we’ve ever been. I’ve learned so much about who I am as a human being and what it means to be grateful. I’ve learned that by letting go, we are creating a space for blessing, and I’ve learned that you don’t have to have a lot, to give a lot. Volunteering our time cooking at Three Square has been a healing experience, it’s a joyous feeling to give when you just have yourself to give. “It’s in our weakness that we find strength”.

 

Life is a struggle.but, we continue on our journey, moving forward toward our destiny, always grateful, always smiling, and never without at least one sunflower to gaze upon. I just wanted to share some of our real life with you. I wanted you to know that what you see on social media is not always the whole story. We all struggle, we are all working hard to survive, and we are all connected. Thank you for sharing in our journey, for your friendship, and for your love. I’m so excited for you to read the book I feel was divinely inspired to cause a shift and help guide someone else through the shifting points of their life…we all have them, there’s truth in them, and there’s magic waiting.in SHIFTING POINTS. Peace & Love to all.


 

 

 

 

 

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