The first months of a romantic relationship are exciting and fun. It’s a time of stomach butterflies and interesting dates and getting to know more about someone you are attracted to on many levels. But these first stages are also the most dangerous because we tend to be selectively blind to important red flags. It’s during these months when abusers plant their controlling and manipulating seeds. When pathological liars test their boundaries and when scammers gain your trust. So, even when it doesn’t seem very romantic, it’s a good idea to run a background check and determine if your new boyfriend is who he says he is. Remember that romance entails responsibilities, and your most important one is your own safety.
Online –And Anonymous– Background Checks
Ideally, you can tell your boyfriend about your intention to run a background check. While it may be an uncomfortable conversation, someone who has nothing to hide should not feel extremely uncomfortable. Asking them upfront and being honest also allows them to explain if they are aware of the possibility of conflicting information coming to the surface. But, if for whatever reason you decide not to disclose your intentions, Check People allows you to search without any fear of them ever knowing. Check People is a background check service that relies on algorithms and artificial intelligence to crawl thousands of websites and online databases to collect relevant information on someone. They also analyze and sort the data to avoid duplicate records and present you with an easy to read and straightforward report. Some highlights of the report, especially regarding someone you’re romantically involved with include:
- Address History. Multiple registered addresses may be covers for multiple relationships or even a hidden family.
- Marital status and divorce history
- Online dating profiles
- Social media profiles
- Criminal records
- Sex offenders status
If you have concerns about your boyfriend’s financial situation, you can run a credit background check, but in compliance with the Fair Credit Reporting Act, you’ll need their written consent. Only CRA’s or Credit Reporting Agencies are allowed to perform background checks, and while they are a bit more pricey than a public record background check, they are still affordable. However, because your boyfriend needs to give their consent, you may ask them to request their free annual credit report. While a free credit report does not include his credit scores, it will showcase his debt and payment history.
The Power of Social Media
You can learn a lot about someone by analyzing how they conduct themselves on social media platforms. Shady profiles that include a lot of spam and don’t have clear profile pictures are usually red flags. Duplicate profiles with contradicting information are also red flags. Rudeness or racist comments also speak volumes about a person’s character. LinkedIn is a good resource to evaluate someone’s work ethics and to learn if they are actually employed where they say they are.
A Little Help From Your Friends
Your friends love you and want what’s best for you. Introducing your boyfriend to your close friends will bring new sets of eyes to the mix. Ask them to be honest, even if you may not like their opinions. Getting to know his friends is also helpful, as we usually relate to people who are similar to us. If your boyfriend is reluctant to introduce you to your friends or seems to want to keep your relationship secret, there is something wrong.
Your Gut Feeling
While some people are masters of deceit, your gut feeling is usually right. If you feel uncomfortable with some attitudes, or if he makes you feel bad about yourself, it’s not a healthy relationship. If your intuition is telling you to run away, pay attention. A relationship that makes you feel sad or ashamed is not worth it. Look out for violent or rude behaviors towards staff at restaurants or strangers. Relationships should make you feel good about yourself and should be fun and enjoyable. If yours is any less than this, you might be better off on your own.