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Shifting in Strife


“There is always beauty on the other side of pain”. I think there are times in all our lives that we battle with depression and loneliness, it’s part of life, and I believe it’s part of change. It’s God nudging us in a different direction, shifting us on a different path. Change is difficult, it’s scary, and it can cause us to become paralyzed with fear and land us in a deep dark depression.

I know from very personal experience that in these times of extreme strife, when we are in the process of shifting, we can make it through to the other side if we hold onto faith and keep believing that we are being guided and we are strong enough to become a better version of ourselves.

I was recently looking through one of my journals from when I was living in New York City and came across this entry I entitled Strife. It was amazing for me to read this after 20 years and to see and feel the incredible shift that took place so many years ago. In a few words I was able to describe in detail the strife I was experiencing, the faith I was exhibiting as I reached out for God in the darkness, and the beauty of the colorful bliss as I came out the other side.

We all experience depression, we all go through change. It’s part of evolving into the human being God created us to be. Sometimes the voices around us get loud and distracting, but if we visualize ourselves on the other side, we will get there, we will make it.

Journal entry 6/20/1993 NYC


“I’m sitting all alone

I can’t believe my ears

The stories that I’m told

Are much to sad to hear

I can’t believe my eyes

They’re seeing things in black

It seems the curtain ties

Have broke and kept the sun back

This world that I call home

Is splitting at the seams

There’s nowhere I can go

It’s like a terrible dream

Oh, please help me God

I’ve seem to lose my way

The city’s got so loud

Please hear me say

I don’t know what there is to do

I’ve never felt so cold

Please show me how to move

I’ll move, I will go

Depression is a state

It simply will not hold

The swinging of the gate

Is harder than I’m told

The things I saw so black

I’m seeing them in OZ

The curtain is tied back

I stop and take a pause

The sun I see so bright

It’s like an awesome dream

I now can see the light

It’s falling in a beam

The life that was so dark

Is full of range and bliss

I’m walking through the park

I’m blowing off a kiss

I’m feeling very strong

And very full of life

My life is like a song

My song is made from strife.”

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