Being less judgmental toward ourselves is a worthy goal that can help us create more self-love.
Whether you consider yourself a perfectionist, have low self-esteem, or even high self-esteem, I’m sure you’ve encountered some instances when you’ve been way too hard on yourself!
Giving yourself a break is an important skill to cultivate in order to be less stressed and more peaceful, producing a healthier and happier way of being.
There are a few key instances in which we can work on developing this, which is when we’re complimented in a way we don’t agree with, feeling not enough, and when we fail at something. Being less judgmental is a practice that we can continue whenever we feel triggered to think negatively about ourselves, but there are ways that we can turn it around.
How to Accept a Compliment
One easy way to identify when we’re feeling judgmental toward ourselves is when we are paid a compliment. I’m sure something like this has happened to you- there are times when someone has said to me, “Your skin looks great!” and my gut reaction is to think, “Are you kidding me?
My skin looks terrible!” This is an opportune time to graciously accept a compliment, and try to see yourself through the eyes of someone else. Relish in the idea that someone has thought so highly of you to speak up, and that you are worthy of praise through someone else’s lens! We have a front row view to ourselves, which can seem to magnify our flaws, but considering a different perspective can help us see ourselves in a better light.
You are Enough
Another common judgment people have toward themselves is “I’m not enough,” which can manifest in different ways.
I’ve thought before “I don’t have enough experience for that job,” or “I don’t know enough to speak up about a subject,” etc.
How often have you heard of people, entrepreneurs especially, who create an incredible opportunity for themselves through sheer persuasion? Spending time on personal development is a great way to better yourself, whether that’s a book, education, or meeting with a mentor or friend. And while I’m a big believer in personal development, that other hand of wanting to make yourself better is feeling like you’re not enough right now.
It’s great to know that you are worthy now, but that you are also taking the time to improve to be even better.
It’s OK to Fail
I think another time we are extra harsh on ourselves is when we fail at something. Failing is something that is inevitable, and, in fact, shows that we tried, which is why it is often said that the only failure lies in not trying. In any of these instances, it’s important to be your own cheerleader and continue with anything you set your heart on. With failure comes growth, so give yourself a pat on the back for giving yourself the life experience to do better next time, even if you fail again- it’s a necessary part of an extraordinary life.
Anyone who has ever done anything exceptional has failed. lots of times! You’re in good company.
If the above tips are not enough, perhaps try to find a therapist near you. But remember, being less judgmental to ourselves is an important way to create less stress, and more self-love. While we may do things like work out, nourish our bodies, and get a massage, if we don’t work on our thoughts, a lot of the doing could be for nothing, since our thoughts have an impact on our bodies. When we have more self-love in our cup, we have this happiness overflow which we can pour over to those around us. So raise a glass, and cheers! You’re fabulous, you’re worthy, and you’re the best you this world could possibly need.