Shy or introverted individuals usually go to war with their inner minds when exposed to a virtual or physical social space. Thus, they wonder what to say, how to say it, or even whether to speak their minds. This battle may be termed speaking anxiety.
However, by learning to become a more talkative person, shy introverts can break free from this phobia and hold intelligent and interesting conversations with friends or strangers whether in the classroom or in front of an audience.
Speaking expert, James White says, “the first step to becoming a more talkative person is in taking control of your lifestyle choices. If you can decide to be more engaging every day, you can live life to your fullest potential and enjoy it.”
These effective points explained below will help you to become a more talkative person:
1. Appear Friendly
Introverted or shy people who can’t start a conversation are usually avoided since they may appear standoffish.
So wear a smile on your face to seem approachable and calm. While you don’t necessarily have to grin, ensure you don’t have a frown while alone.
Endeavor to also greet people with a smile, as this will help them to go beyond only exchanging pleasantries with you. This tip is especially useful for students, and colleagues who constantly share a space with others.
2. Use Relatable Affairs to Ignite a Discussion
It doesn’t matter if it’s your first meeting or you’ve known a person all your life, topics bordering around family, careers, extracurricular activities, and goals are great conversation starters that can help prevent an awkward silence any day.
For instance, if you’re only meeting a coursemate for the first time, you can ask if they’re work-studying, why they’ve chosen a career path, and what they love to do after school. Another example is asking your co-worker in the morning how their family is faring.
These types of simple conversations will also help you to be sure that you’re not going to get embarrassed since the fear of embarrassment is a major reason people can be quiet in social settings.
3. Use Open-Ended Questions
Conversation coach, Maria Cross says, “open-ended questions start with how, why, what, what if, what’s your opinion about, explain what, etc.” Therefore you may choose to employ this tactic by asking your coursemates, coworkers why did they make a certain choice regarding academics or work.
Also, you can ask someone you meet at a party, “what do you like about this party, or I love your outfit, where did you get it, what inspired it?
These types of questions will help prevent a curt reply. Therefore, giving you the chance to meet people and breed friendship with them.
4. Converse with People Who Want to Talk
As someone who’s learning to become more talkative, it’s important to find people who show signs of being open to conversations. Otherwise, people who may feel uninterested may discourage you from being a chatty person.
If someone is so engrossed with their phone, looking towards another direction as you speak, ignoring your greetings, not contributing to your discussion, you can tell that they’re not interested in holding a conversation.
You don’t have to feel bad about this, as there are various valid reasons people may not feel like talking. Simply respect their choice and maintain a positive mood if you experience this.
5. Hold Eye Contact
“Many individuals usually don’t feel comfortable talking to people who don’t make eye contact during conversation, as it’s a very significant body language that shows your interest or lack of it,” says Angela Law, a clinical therapist.
While striving to be a more talkative person, it’s important to be receptive to those who strike a conversation with you. As they talk, look into their eyes intermittently say 5-6 seconds or look near their gazes if you’re shy.
This attitude will help give the impression that you’re a confident and reasonable social being, and will also help them to recollect your face when next you meet.
Moreover, if you have eye contact anxiety, endeavor to practice maintaining eye contact with individuals you’re comfortable with such as your family and friends.
6. Pay Attention to Trends or the News
It’s common practice for people to discuss what’s happening in the entertainment or political world in public places. Therefore, to become part of such discussions or even start one, learn to stay current in these areas.
You can ignite the conversation by asking obvious things like “what’s the controversy about this artiste, what is the presidency giving a speech about.”
Remember, you don’t have to know the deepest part of the issue, just stay up-to-date.
Whether it’s at the club, gym, or a party, people have stories they want to share with others. Be prepared to listen to these stories. While listening, find areas you can relate to and share your experience, too.
If someone tells you, “the last time I traveled to Mexico, I ate some unique tacos.”
Don’t just respond with okay. To show you’re listening, you can say, “I’ve never been to Mexico before, however, I’ve tasted tacos in this particular restaurant.” Or, “I’ve always dreamt of going to Mexico, cause I’m curious about the weather.”
The above examples show that you can always have something to say when you’re a good listener.
8. Don’t Avoid Social Settings
Part of the lifestyle choices you can make as advised by James White at the beginning of this article is choosing to attend social events.
Don’t stay at home where you have zero chance of meeting new people and having one-on-one dialogues with them.
Turn up to places you have been invited to. Then practice all of the above tips and the ones to come.
9. Don’t Hold Back
To become a more talkative person, ask questions when you feel like it, share your relatable experiences, if you have one, and don’t be afraid to speak your mind. That’s the only way to get better at talking.
10. Use Your Voice
Research has shown that quiet people prefer to text rather than call. This habit, therefore, contributes to their inability to speak.
You can improve your talking skills by using voice notes to chat instead of texting. You can also call rather than sending messages.
For instance, if you’re a shy single gay, you can use gay phone lines to start conversations with similar-minded gays.
Moreover, you can get a second phone number to converse with new people by sending them voice notes. You don’t have to do this to the point of annoying the recipient. But imagine if you choose to send one voice note per day to the people you constantly chat with.
This habit will help you feel more relaxed to hold conversations while speaking face-to-face even with strangers.
11. Feel Comfortable
If speaking phobia is the reason you barely strike conversations with others, best believe that phobia is an unreasonable fear of something unlikely to inflict pain or hurt. Therefore, you have no real reason to be afraid of being seen or heard in public.
Endeavor to make yourself feel comfortable while with people by visualizing yourself talking before starting the conversation. However, don’t overthink it. Simply picture yourself talking. After all, there’s a maxim that says, “if you can think it, you can do it.”
Finally, being an interesting talkative is never an impossibility, you only have to start with a mind shift. Go from feeling like “I can’t do this” to “I surely can.” This attitude will help you break free from your fears and you’ll see that practicing all of the above isn’t so much work to do.