Understanding My Little Self
During a recent therapy session, my therapist wanted to try something with me I had never experienced. We had been discussing my childhood trauma in depth over our time together. She asked me if I would be willy to talk to my little self. I said yes, although I felt kind of silly. She asked me to picture my little self on the chair across from me and to just talk to him. So, I began telling my little self that I was so sorry for all he had been through, for all the pain. I started to understand that I was holding on to so much guilt and shame. In that process of healing my inner child, I began by acknowledging the pain and trauma that my younger self endured. By speaking to him gently, I reassured him, “It’s okay.” This was the first step towards inner restoration, allowing me to confront the deep-seated wounds and start the healing journey. I realized that my little self had been holding onto emotions and experiences that needed to be addressed for true healing to occur.
Letting Go of Guilt and Shame
One of the most crucial aspects of healing is to absolve the feelings of guilt and shame that often linger from past abuse. I began to tell my little self, “It wasn’t your fault,” emphasizing his strength and courage in withstanding so much pain. This affirmation was essential in releasing the heavy burden he carried. It was important to recognize that the guilt and shame were misplaced, as they belonged to those who inflicted harm on me, not to the innocent child who endured it.
Embracing Inner Strength
Recognizing the incredible resilience of my inner child was a pivotal moment. Despite the cold touch of abuse and hurt. I reassured him that he was not weak but remarkably strong. This acknowledgment helped me see the potential within and to understand that the light and joy I possessed were threats to those who sought to harm me. Embracing this inner strength allowed me to reframe my past experiences, viewing them not as sources of weakness but as testaments to my resilience and capacity for survival. My inner child was actually a superhero. It amazes me when I think of what I went through as a child, and that I was still filled with so much love and compassion for others despite what I had endured.
Shining Brightly Through the Darkness
As I continued my healing journey, I realized that my light, which was once attempted to be extinguished, must now shine brightly. I embraced my role in guiding others through their own darkness, using my experiences to elevate and bring forth hope. This mission became a beacon of strength and love in my life. By sharing my story and offering support to others, I found a renewed sense of purpose and fulfillment. My past, once a source of pain, became a foundation for empathy and connection with others who have experienced similar struggles.
A Commitment to Self-Compassion
Healing my inner child involved a deep commitment to self-compassion. By apologizing to my younger self for the lack of protection around him and the immense pain he experienced, I was able to validate what he went through and began the process of true healing. Recognizing my worth and the power of my inner light became the foundation for a brighter, more hopeful future for myself. This commitment to self-compassion required ongoing practice and mindfulness, reminding myself regularly that I am deserving of kindness, love, and understanding. That the pain I endured was not my fault.
Rediscovering Joy and Potential
Part of the healing process was rediscovering the joy and potential that my little self once had. The abuse and trauma had dimmed these qualities, but they were never truly lost. By reconnecting with my inner child, I was able to reclaim the parts of myself that had been suppressed. I allowed myself to dream again, to imagine a future filled with possibilities, and to take steps toward realizing those dreams. This rediscovery was not immediate but evolved through patience, self-reflection, and a willingness to embrace the unknown.
Building a Support Network
An essential element in healing was building a support network of people who understood and validated my experiences. This network included friends, and professionals who offered empathy, guidance, and encouragement. Surrounding myself with supportive individuals helped reinforce the positive changes I was making and provided a sense of community and belonging. Sharing my journey with others not only strengthened my own resolve but also inspired those around me to embark on their own paths of healing. I had the power to turn my pain into beauty.
Conclusion
Healing my little self, my inner child, has been a profound journey. Through self-compassion, letting go of guilt and shame, and embracing my inner strength, I have illuminated my path. This journey has empowered me to guide others, bringing hope and elevation to those in need. By rediscovering joy and potential, and building a strong support network, I have created a foundation for a life filled with light, love, and fulfillment. I am grateful that I had the courage to talk with my little self that day. It is the step that allowed me to begin healing my inner child and releasing all the guilt and shame that was so misplaced. I wrote this poem immediately after that session with my therapist.
To my little self
I talked to my little self today,
Whispered to him, “It’s okay.”
I told him I was sorry for all he went through,
For all the pain, so deeply true.
“It wasn’t your fault,” I gently said,
As I laid to rest his weary head.
“You weren’t weak, you were strong,
Courageous, holding on for so long.”
How could a boy withstand so much?
Abuse and hurt, the coldest touch.
I took away the guilt and shame,
He needn’t bear that heavy name.
“It’s not your fault,” I reassured,
“Of this, let your heart be cured.”
I pondered why they used me so,
Did they see a light, a glow?
A brightness that they feared to see,
A potential in what I might be.
So they tried to silence the boy,
Extinguish the light, destroy the joy.
For what I was, and what I might,
Was beyond their darkened sight.
They couldn’t grasp, couldn’t understand,
How could they, in a shadowed land?
“I’m sorry, little boy,” I wept,
“That no one came, no one kept
You safe from harm, from all the pain,
But I see it now, clear and plain.”
I am a light, I will shine bright,
To guide my fellow man through night.
With strength and love, to illuminate,
To bring forth hope, to elevate.
