Powerless Isn’t Pretty
Most of the women I have met in my life are wonderful in so many ways you can’t count them all. Some take great care of animals and the planet, others are great caregivers of children and still others are pioneers in their careers. Women never give up and handle just about anything that is thrown at them. Women are defenders, moderators and trusted companions. Women are powerful, indeed. And yet, around the world, women are treated as second class citizens, at best, and are taught that they are sub-standard humans – consistently trained to believe they are less valuable than men. In fact, women have been trained to be powerless and the consequences of that training aren’t pretty.
Feeling powerless, many women are subjected to severe abuse that takes none of their wishes of a happy, heart-inspired life into consideration. Women are seen as property, something to take frustrations out on and something to use when needed. Broken bones, bruises and gashes are common in a world where people are taught they are not equal to others. Some abuse is so severe that it even maims and disfigures women.
Powerlessness is a symptom of the much larger issue of being trained to believe we are not good enough. Inequality is a core foundation of this belief .¨ as if one of us is better or worse than another. On one side of the issue is the training men receive telling them they are superior to women and they have the right to treat women poorly, as if it’s normal. This treatment is carried out through continual suppression and degradation tactics such as name calling and ridiculing women’s interests, desires and dreams. Mind games, all forms of abuse, discrimination, inappropriate restrictions and isolation are just some of the many ways the power of women has been suppressed for centuries and is still being suppressed today. Of course, there are some men who do honor women and treat them as equals, but most do not. This has to change.
On the other side of the issue is the training women receive that they are not as valuable as men. This leaves women feeling vulnerable, fragile and helpless. We have been trained to believe we are “the weaker sex”, that we are victims of life and that someone else rescues us. These are all lies. Women are not weaker and we rescue ourselves. Our powerful truth has been hidden from us.
While doing research for the book she wrote, Beauty Bites Beast (B3Books, 2001), author Ellen Snortland told me that she asked one question of men and women. That question was, “Who protects you?” Ellen said that women typically answered with one of the following:
- My boyfriend/husband
- My dog
- My dad
- The alarm system company
- The police
Men had a completely different answer when asked, “Who protects you?” They answered, “Me.” It was obvious to me that our training, for men and women, needs to change. But, we don’t have to wait until societies change their training. That could take decades, if it would ever happen at all. No, the change needs to happen now and women around the world need to drive it. It starts with each woman honoring herself. To do this, we have to say, “No” to all abuse. This includes the abuse we suffer at the hands of our own mind. We have to stop believing we are powerless and take our rightful place in the world. When we do this, we change. And when we change, the world changes. Women have the power to wipe out all oppression and created equality for all.
We need a new definition for pretty. For most of us, pretty has to do with looks, clothes or some combination thereof. But, let’s go deeper .¨ much deeper to the power within us. Let’s go to the power that is our birthright and to all that is natural for us as women. We are feminine and we are divine. It is time to step back into that which is and has always been who we truly are. Now that is pretty!
Finding Our Voice .¨ The Divine Feminine
For thousands of years the true nature of both men and women has been silenced through the training we received as children. Much of this training set up a system of oppression. Of course, women have borne the brunt of this oppression with their lives. This has been a deliberate suppression of the Divine Feminine.
The Divine Feminine represents the most supreme level of feminine expression .¨ the power to give birth. This power is no different than the power of the universe to birth itself, which is both amazing and sacred. But, this monumental gift of a woman giving her blood, her body and her energy to create another has been downplayed out of fear. As such, we have separated life from its sacred core and cut ourselves off from that which is truly nourishing, healing and transforming. Every woman knows deep within her that she is a sacred, divine being .¨ the one who gives life. It is time for us to honor this sacred power.
In order to reconnect with the Divine Feminine within, each of us has to be willing to see the patterns in our life that are consistent with suppression and oppression and say “No”. This could mean saying “No” to a partner who is verbally or physically abusive, a mother who is constantly disabling your decision-making or any societal discrimination. Just because something has been done for centuries doesn’t mean it is right and it doesn’t mean it doesn’t need changed. In most cases entire cultures need to change. But, we can begin with one woman at a time.
The problem is that most of us follow our victim, second-class citizen training without question, but it is time to question what we have been taught. Investigate this for yourself. See if you can identify any suppression or oppression of you in your relationships. When you identify it, you will have to find the courage to say, “No.” You can do it. That courage is who you are at your core .¨ the powerful life-giving being called WOMAN!
Don’t stop there, though. Go a level deeper. Check to see if your own ideas of yourself .¨ the beliefs and thoughts in your mind about who you are and how you are – are being validated through the actions of your partner, parents, boss, co-workers and friends. If so, it is time to say, “No” to your mind’s ideas of you that mimic this outward oppression. Seeing this is the beginning of healing, allowing your true powerful nature to be revealed to you.
We can change our lives by seeing the oppression others are placing on us or by seeing the oppression we are placing on ourselves. Start somewhere; start anywhere. It is time.
The investigation applies to men, too. Men, investigate to see if your treatment of women matches the kindness, the compassion, the support and the love in your heart. Or is your perception of women and the treatment of them based on some mind-created training you received about yourself and women. You will know in your heart, even if your mind isn’t willing to admit it, that demeaning women, any abuse, any superiority you feel over women is not in alignment with love. Such perception and treatment can only be aligned with your own fear of not being good enough. Again, this is training, not truth. You are, as we all are, good enough.
I’ll leave you with this question to ponder: What person, who loves himself or herself, would ever demean, abuse or suppress another being on the planet? The answer is, no one who loves themselves would do such things. It is time for healing. When each one of us heals ourselves, the entire planet heals. Say “No” today.