Taking a break in a relationship is not a decision to be taken lightly. But getting a divorce is even more so. However, the hardest of all might be to decide which of these you need. You’ll need to think long and hard about this matter and consider the pros and cons of every option.
While at it, remember that taking a break isn’t always the first step toward a divorce. Many couples who separated for some space are able to rekindle their relationships and make them even stronger. Of course, there are those whom that space helped see that their relationship was doomed and they broke it off. Stories differ as do people, but few of them regret taking a break.
Benefits of Taking a Break in Your Relationship
The most important benefit of taking a break is getting some space that will help you see your relationship from a new perspective. Distance often brings clarity because you start to understand what exactly the loss of the relationship took from you.
Then, you are able to decide whether you want to recover those things by getting back together. Moreover, you get to see what you need to change to make the relationship healthier and whether you are ready to work for it.
Reading this, it might appear like every relationship can benefit from an occasional break. However, it’s not that simple. For this “timeout” to work so well you need to establish specific rules before you take it.
What’s even more important, you need to be sure that you are taking the break for the right reasons. In some cases, getting an easy divorce is a much better option because some relationships shouldn’t be saved. If your marriage is abusive, you shouldn’t even be thinking about any breaks because divorce and, quite possibly, a restriction order are the only reasonable solutions.
However, not all situations are that clear-cut. Quite often, the toxicity of a relationship is subtle and builds over time, so you can’t even see the signs of it from the inside. In this case, taking a step back and reevaluating your marriage might be the wakeup call you need to realize that it’s not good for you. From then on, you will need to decide whether you want to break it off completely or to try working out your issues.
How to Make a Break in Your Relationship Helpful
As mentioned before, a break in a relationship will only work to your benefit if you use it right. Separating for some time only to get back together without solving anything will do you no good.
Therefore, first of all you need to establish the rules of your break. They will differ depending on your situation, but the most important thing to do is to make the reassessment of your relationship mandatory.
Don’t just “rest” from the marriage, spend your time analyzing your own thoughts and feelings so you can understand why you need that rest in the first place. This would be a good time to work with a relationship counselor. Both partners will need to work on this separately for this break to be meaningful for the relationship.
The next stage is connecting and discussing your discoveries with your partner. The rules you establish at the beginning should define how much contact you should have and when. Meaningful communication at this stage is key to strengthening or quitting your relationship. That’s when you’ll decide whether both of you are ready to work on this marriage taking into account both of your requirements.
Are you ready to give it another try? Go ahead and be sure to do some relationship analysis a few months down the line. And if this time showed that the break should become more permanent, you should be able to divorce more amicably after it.