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5 Ways to Tune into the Language of Love

“Our fears are here to help us uncover that which needs resolved within ourselves.”
— Bo L. Arnold


Love is What We Really Want

What’s the one thing we all want more than anything else? “Money” or “more free time” might come to mind and those could be true for you at the moment. But, in the end, we all just want to be loved .¨ more than anything. For many of us, though, we just don’t truly feel loved. Most of us don’t even love ourselves. It’s hard to imagine that we are surrounded by family members, a significant other, co-workers and close friends, yet, we don’t feel connected and valued. Why? The way we are trained to think has a lot to do with it.

When we were young, we were presented with various messages that said we were bad, wrong, unworthy, unlovable and other various negative concepts about us and the world. This quickly built a mantra in our subconscious that runs automatically and consistently under the radar that says, “I’m afraid I’m not good enough”. In fact, a whopping 65-75% of our thoughts are negative based on this training. Played out in our lives, this single sentence of untruth translates into loneliness, rejection, abandonment and generally feeling unloved.

This mantra and its various cohorts run so robotically that most of us are unaware of it all. This results in identifying easily with negative thinking including self-pity and worthlessness. We often suffer through life, acting like victims or bullies because of this faulty thinking. But, there is no love in being a victim or a bully; there is only fear .¨ the fear of not being loved.

Love vs. Fear

The opposite of love is fear. In fact, these are the only two emotions we really experience. All other emotions fall under these main categories as sub-emotions, so to speak. For example, kindness is a form of love and anger is a form of fear. Figure 1 below shows examples of the sub-categories of emotions in no order of importance.















Fig. 1

The interesting thing is you can’t express love and fear in the same moment. So when you choose love, fear is non-existent. That’s good news because when you become aware of patterns of thinking and acting that create any of the sub-emotions of fear, you can choose in that moment whether or not you want to continue with fear or if you want to shift to a form of love. We all have this choice once we become aware of the options.

As you take each situation or event and choose love instead of fear, you accumulate more love. When you accumulate more love, you feel more love, you get more love and your health improves. So, from here on out, when you experience or generate an emotion in the sub-category of fear, ask yourself, “Is there another way to act or think about this instead of the way I am right now?” The answer will be “Yes” every time. Then choose some form of love and let go of the fearful thinking. It’s not always easy to do, but the system is simple enough. Don’t give up on reconnecting with love. Just practice each time you are aware of the opportunity to do so. You can do it!

Tuning into Love

If you are looking for a way to experience life that is different than the way you experience it through fear, you have lots of powerful options.
Just as we tune into the frequency of a radio station that we like, we can tune into the language of love when we are focused on it. When we are focused on love, we can choose it as the main filter through which we see and experience life.

What is the language of love? It’s kindness, compassion, understanding, peace and health. How can we speak this language? By expressing it every chance we get.


Kindness is a beautiful way to tune into love since it means truly giving from the heart. Kindness is about others, not you. Kindness allows us to share and connect with each other as well as to encourage, inspire and support in many ways. See if you can find opportunities to be kind to someone you weren’t kind to the last time you spoke with them. Perhaps the person you choose to be kind to will be you.


Compassion is another great connector to humans and other life on the planet and an essential tool to help shift from fear to love. Compassion involves empathy and a desire in our heart to alleviate the suffering of another. What could be more worthy? For example, when you see someone that you want to judge as less than you, stop for a moment and remember that there is another way to see that soul. Remember that they suffer with a mind that tells them they are not good enough, just like you. Then practice expressing compassion in that moment.
Continue your practice of compassion each day. There is always an opportunity to do so.


All humans are on a journey to experience and learn. All journeys are sacred and divine contrary to what we have been taught. No individual experiences any part of their journey in just the same way as anyone else. With that as our basis for understanding, we can spend more time listening, honoring and allowing. We can connect with others on a deeper level free of judgment. We can learn to see situations and feelings from someone else’s point of view and give them what they need most .¨ love. With this as our filter through which we see others and their struggles, we can give more energy to support them on their sacred journey rather than forcing our opinions about their life on them. What a beautiful gift to give someone. This is true love.


We live in a busy world, but peace can be found everywhere if you are open to that perspective. The first thing you can do to find more peace is to get comfortable with the present moment. Presence has a way of taking the stress, drama and emotion out of everyday life that we often create unnecessarily.
How can you find the present moment? Look around you right now. The space you are in, whatever is happening right now .¨ this is the present moment. When you are busy or even chaotic at any point in your day, this can be a great sign post that it’s time to shift to the present moment.

Another thing you can do to find peace is to notice the rest of life that is happening around you that many of us often take for granted. We miss the birds singing as we rush to get to work on time. We miss the green grass as we wait for the weekend to come. We miss the rain on our face as we worry about what the humidity will do to our hair style! Instead of rushing through life with your monkey mind at the helm, take a deep breath and slow down. Notice the colors, smells and sounds of nature. This is a great way to tune into love by reconnecting with all of life instead of a just a very small part of it.


Being healthy is our natural state of being. When we feed our bodies healthy foods full of high quality vitamins and minerals, we are tuning into love .¨ self-love. It is much easier to experience self-acceptance and personal kindness when we mindfully nourish from the inside out.
To do this, make small changes in the foods you eat each day. Think of food more as fuel for your body rather than just pleasure to the taste buds and the emotion you are feeding. When you reach for a sticky bun for breakfast, ask yourself if this is what truly nourishes you. This will help you reconnect your mind and your body so they work together for the benefit of your health. If the answer to your question is, “No”, choose something different that does nourish your body and supports good health rather than that which deteriorates it. You deserve nothing less than to feel healthy, vital and truly alive! This is self-love!

Any of these frequencies of love can help you tune into even more love. Pick one and run with it. It doesn’t matter which one .¨ start with the one that speaks to you the most. You can’t get it wrong. By choosing different energetic frequencies that assist you in your life, you will find a power, a freedom and a peace that has been in you all along. The fear will diminish and love will lead you through your experiences and you will begin to notice how amazing life really is.

Love rocks!

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