Sex & Relationships
What You’ll Need to Know if You’re in a New Lesbian Relationship
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to date a woman? Or are you positive you would like to date your own gender but would like to know more about it before diving into a relationship? Will it feel the same as dating a man? Or completely different? Luckily, April Kirkwood M.Ed is here to help. Kirkwood gave us advice on everything from what topics to discuss on the first few dates to how to handle discrimination. We also asked her about sexual fluidity and how to embrace it. Even if you aren’t looking to date within your gender, it’s still freeing for yourself to never say never and to learn not to judge those who do.
Q&A with April Kirkwood
What are the most important topics to bring up on the first date, third date, and before they get serious? Do lesbian relationships differ from heterosexual relationships?
There are two general ways individuals fall in love; one is the way two souls slowly simmer to that magical “I love you.” The other, the most intoxicating and crazy, is the head over heels weakening of the knees “you had me at hello” phenomena. Not meaning to male bash, I do feel, however, that two women have a deeper intuitive sense of zoning in more quickly and accurately than those participating in heterosexual encounters where games are the art of conquest. That being said, I advise each person on the brink of falling in love to share their truth, joyfully flow with it, and live mindfully in the moment attuning to the soul of another, a.k.a. get out of your own way.
When you are only focusing on your next move, you can get lost in yourself and lose the opportunity to deeply connect with another. Contemplating, calculating, and consciously regulating what and when to say things only complicates the splendid process of two beings finding each other, wanting each other, and bliss. In the grand scheme of things, I would rather discuss our dark secrets as well as our deepest longings and be given the opportunity to bail rather than falling more deeply which only causes so much unneeded sorrow. If a particular issue is non-negotiable, I personally appreciate finding it out before I place my being in the hands of another. Seriously, how many encounters have hurtfully ended with “I wish I would have known sooner”? Totally sucks, right?
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