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What is Demisexual? And Are You One?

Are YOU demisexual?

There are certainly several different ways to be sexual. Indeed, there are forms or incarnations of sexuality yet to be discovered. Demisexuality is one type of sexuality that you might not have even heard of.  But, perhaps you might be a demisexual and you don’t even know it yet?

Demisexual refers to a person who has to form a strong emotional connection to someone in order to be sexually attracted to them. The term originates from being “halfway between” sexual and asexual.  And when a demisexual experiences a deep emotional bond with someone, then they experience sexual attraction and desire towards that person.

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Basically, it is the opposite of having sex without emotions! If you are demisexual, you only want to have sex if your heart is in it. Sex for sex’s sake is a no go. It has to have emotion and intimacy or you are not interested; it’s just not about an orgasm or “getting laid”. If you are a demisexual, it is really all about the emotional intimacy and sex is a way of expressing that intimacy.

Whereas many others may see an attractive person in a club that is a total stranger and feel sexual attraction towards them, a demisexual will not.  Mere physical attraction is not enough as the main component of sexual attraction is the emotional bond.  So, merely being a “hot guy” might not be enough to someone who is a demisexual!

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Photo Credit: Pablo Heimplatz

Not every close emotional bond will incite sexual attraction. However, emotional intimacy is necessary for sexual attraction to occur.

Does this sound like YOU?  If you are not into casual sex, one night stands, or hookups and need emotional connection to have sexual attraction, you just might be demisexual!



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