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How I Turned Divorce Into a Positive Thing

It may come as a surprise to some, but I went through a divorce a few years ago.

I sure didn’t plan on divorce being on my list of things to do in my life, but looking back at all my biggest opportunities to grow, they were all moments I hadn’t intended.

I came from a divorced family and, more than anything, didn’t want that for my son’s life; but sometimes the universe has bigger plans and these life changes are all part of it. I know in my heart that coming from a tough childhood is what made me who I am and, although I would never want that for my son, I have accepted that he too is on his own spiritual journey, growing and evolving into a young man.

With most things in life, I believe it is important for people to be open and transparent with their struggles so that others have the opportunity to feel hope and unity. Seeing others go through relatable challenges and coming out the other end is inspiring and brings hope and faith to others going through similar challenges. I always choose to look at the bright side of things and take each opportunity to learn and grow and try to become a better person. I realize that these are the moments that shape our character and define who we are.

 

  1. Take responsibility for yourself and only yourself.

You are not in control of how your ex partner (husband/wife) wants to act and be. You are each individuals not responsible for the other one’s actions. You’re each on your own journey. Even though you shared some beautiful times together and felt as one, you need to come back to yourself. You cannot serve from an empty vessel. This can be challenging if you lost yourself in your marriage, but what fun it is to re- explore who you are, now! Let this energy motivate you to do things you have been wanting to do.

 

  1. You cannot make somebody understand or accept the truth when they are literally incapable.

You can not squeeze lemon juice out of a dry lemon. Release old expectations and see things in the present. Know when to let go and righteously surrender. See the person for who he or she is now, not the fantasy or illusions you built up in your head while married.

 

  1. Acknowledge the time you spent together and acknowledge the end.

Your contract is up. You have learned what you can from this relationship and it is time to move on. Perceive this as a beautiful thing, filled with new, endless possibility. Change can be scary. The roles each of you once played have changed and that’s OK. There can still be love there; it is just a different type of love.

 

  1. Let go of the stigma surrounding divorce.

Make your own rules about how the process begins and gets dissolved. It doesn’t have to be ugly. Just because you choose to no longer be married doesn’t mean the person has to be dead to you. You will mourn what was, but once that is clear, a new relationship is possible. This is especially true if there are children involved.

 

  1. There’s no need to feel shame.

You are righteous of divine love. It’s OK. You did your best and learned what you could and by that nothing was wasted. Pull up your bootstraps and get back up.

 

 

“I don’t see divorce as a failure. I see it as the end to a story, everything has an end and a beginning.” – Olga Kurylenko

 

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