By Moushumi Ghose, MFT
As a society we are constantly battling between old-school stereotypes and beliefs about sex and sexuality versus what we know intuitively to be true about sex and our bodies. With all the old wives tales about sex, masturbation, and exposing our skin or body parts as being taboo, it’s sometimes very hard to weed through it all to find real honest-to-good sex education amongst the media hype. Even though there is a lot of excellent and straightforward information out there, there is still a lot of cultural shaming when it comes to sex and our bodies. As a sex therapist and advocate for positive attitudes about sexuality, I am always looking for new avenues of information. I love to find new literature for people to read to get inspired to become more sexually liberated and empowered. It was just my luck then to receive an advance copy of the upcoming book The New Sex Bible for Women, By Amie Harwick.
Published by Quiver Books, Harwick’s The New Sex Bible For Women is the anecdotal step by step guide for all women, who desire to become more proficient with their bodies, with their sexuality, with their intimate relationships and with their lives. And wait there is more! The book comes complete with full-color pictures. These are not just diagrams, but actual photographs of women and men in various different sexy positions, which makes this book come to life.
The book itself covers the basics, the A to Z’s of sex. From the basics of women’s anatomy, I’m talking both internal and external organs, to how to masturbate your g-spot, how to put on a condom, sex over the years (yes all the decades are discussed), male sexuality and anatomy, sexual positions, sex toys, lubrication, BDSM and also safety. This book is a great resource and reference for understanding the basics of sex for women. My personal favorite part of the book are the personal accounts of women’s sex lives in different scenarios.
I also had a chance to sit down with Amie Harwick, the author. We met on a sunny and hot July day at Aroma Cafe in Studio City, California. Amie runs a very busy private practice in West Hollywood, California, where she specializes in sex therapy, helping individuals improve their lives. Amie also specializes in anxiety, depression, and is a Kink Aware Professional. She kindly now takes time out of her busy day with clients to meet with me to discuss the book.
MG: So, what inspired you to write this book?
Amie: I wrote this book because I felt as though there as a lack of general education and knowledge regarding women’s own sexuality, anatomy, safety, and what is considered a normal range of sexual and intimate behavior. Being able to contribute to the catalog of available books that a woman can choose to read in order to learn more about herself is an honor and a privilege to me.
MG: In your own words, what is the book about?
Amie: The New Sex Bible for Women is an all encompassing sexual reference book that a women can have on her book shelf and refer to over time and throughout different life events. This book will also steer you in the best direction for future education and resources regarding sexual health and well being.
Me: What was the best/worst parts about writing the book?
Amie: Being able to write the book was the best part. It was a life goal of mine to be able to author a book not only in my field of Psychology, but also a text that will assist women in learning about themselves and their sexuality. The worst part about writing this book is that when you tell people that you are writing a sex book and are a sex therapist, the general consensus is that you are also simultaneously engaging in a wild and adventurous sex life.
MG: What do you mean you don’t you have a crazy adventurous sex life?!! And, with such a busy schedule where did you find the time to write this book?
Amie: I wrote this book in a relatively short period of time while also seeing clients at my practice, but my social life dwindled, and my main male interaction was my cat sitting on my lap while I wore sweats and was working on the book on my laptop.
MG: What inspired you to become a sex therapist? And what is special about your practice?
Amie: I had always wanted to work in the field of Psychology. I knew from a young age that I wanted to be a psychotherapist. In high school, I would carry around books with case studies ranging from criminal profiling to women’s sexual health and feminism. At the time, I was regarding as having strange interests, but now, I actively work and write in this field. I leaned specifically towards the area of sexuality due to the lack of social and cultural conversation about positive sexuality. I don’t focus my practice and writing on sex addiction, but rather sexual acceptance and education. I wanted to create a space that a client can work on reducing shame around their sexuality and being more accepting of themselves and the relationships that they want.
MG: How does this book relate to the work you do?
Amie: This book directly relates to the work that I do. I see many women that are unaware of their sexuality, or knowledgeable about how their body works. Many women are not aware of the range of the appearance of genitals, the common issue of difficulty orgasming, or that there is a spectrum of sexuality that applies to types of relationships, orientation, gender identity, and preferences. In fact, I often recommend that my clients read similar reference books such as Nina Hartley’s Guide to Total Sex.
MG: What are the best/worst parts about the work you do?
Amie: The best part about working as a therapist is the ability that I have to be in a position to act as a catalyst for positive change. Seeing people work on themselves and improve their functioning and quality of life is a rewarding and inspirational experience.
There you have it! (I am curious about her past stint in criminal profiling, but I will save that for our next conversation.) The main thing is that Amie is doing very important work. This is a step in that very direction that we need in order to continue to break down some of the old baggage, when it comes to female sexuality. My suggestion, pick up a copy of this book when it comes out.
The New Sex Bible for Women is Amie Harwick’s first book, and is slated for release November 1, 2014. Check out Amie’s author profile on Amazon here.
About the author:
Moushumi Ghose, MFT is a sex/relationship therapist, CA Board Licensed Marriage-Family Therapist, certified Hypnotherapist, and author. Her writing has appeared online and in print. She has also made several TV appearances and is co-host and producer of TheSexTalkSeries.com.