Okay, I need to take a deep breath before I write this post because to be perfectly honest, there are some things that I never thought I would have to write. Well, the day has finally come, where something that I would have thought was satire, is a real thing. You can probably guess why I thought this one was satire, there are SO many things going on in the world right now that should have been on the front page of the Onion, but are actually sitting front and center on CNN’s homepage, so you’ll excuse me as I sit here in disbelief.
We’re either living in an alternate universe, or someone just invented lipstick for the vagina, or rather “lips stick”. Because every morning, when I wake up, the first thing I think about is moisturizing my vagina with something from my makeup bag. God, I hope no one mistakes this for chapstick at some point. Okay, jokes and my utter disbelief aside let’s go ahead and talk about this thing.
The Ultimate Treatment for the Ultimate….Vagina
The company, or brand, is called VMagic, and we’ll let you decide what the V stands for. They bring to you their amazing brand of vagina lipstick, which is actually for the lips of the labia, and vulvar skin. The idea is to keep the skin around your hoo-haw balanced and moisturized, but they also say it purifies. Now we’re not going to speculate as to what that means, but one thing we really, truly do know for sure, is that the body tends to keep itself pretty moisturized…down there. But perhaps there are some who experience dryness or chafing. I mean, necessity is the mother of invention, right?
But if you Really Want To
We’re not sure if there’s much point in actually using this product, but it does also claim to smell and taste like honey, prevent odor causing bacteria, and even reduce the chance of ingrown hairs! It is made from their own signature mix which includes: olive oil, avocado, oil, honey, and beeswax. Hey, they got a superfood in there! (Haha) Also, once again, don’t accidentally use it on your lips, the people in the bathroom stall next to you probably aren’t going to appreciate the scream of horror you expel into the mirror of some restaurant bathroom after you’ve just gone in to ‘touch up’ your makeup.
We haven’t’ really tried this one yet, but if you want to give it a shot, all we can say is “you do you, be yourself, and … stay hydrated.”
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