When is it OK to give him the boot?
If you watched the Second Presidential Debate earlier this week, you saw both Melania and Ivanka support Donald Trump just two days after a scandal that involved him making rude and sexist comments about women.
In an audio released this week, that was made 10 years ago, Donald Trump is heard saying he could “grab women by the p****” because he is famous. This statement is being labeled by some as “P****gate”. When asked about the offensive comment, Melania called her husband’s comments “unacceptable and offensive”, yet she has still chosen to stand by him.
Although Ivanka Trump has remained silent about the recent scandal, both she and Melania chose to support Donald during Sunday’s debate that took place at Washington University in St. Louis, Missouri.
This brings up the following question: when should you stand by your man and when is it OK to leave? After all, when most people marry, they intend to hold true to their vows of staying together during both good and bad times. But how can you determine when something is merely a hurdle or a deal breaker? Should you stay with someone just because you made a verbal commitment several years ago?
In many cases, infidelity is a valid reason to throw in the towel. Trust is broken and that is extremely difficult to rebuild. In Donald and Melania’s case, he said these remarks while newly engaged to her. Does that mean he was intending to be unfaithful to her at the time? How does she feel about this? And does it make her question his fidelity all along? I would. Or is that not important to her?
Another famous Presidential candidate and his wife had a similar situation. Jack and Jackie Kennedy had an “understanding”. Jack was known to be a womanizer. Jackie married him fully understanding this. Was she immune to his philandering? No. It caused a great deal of stress in the marriage because Joe Kennedy offered her 1 million dollars when she was threatening to divorce Jack before he became President. What makes the Trump’s situation similar to the Kennedy’s is it is being played out in the public eye. And as a result, there is more judgment on all parties involved.
If you are a feminist, you might generally believe it is a woman’s choice whether she decides to stay or go. But even more important than Melania and Ivanka’s decision to support or not support Donald, is the belief that it is time for men to begin to understand the hurt and pain they cause others around them by their selfish actions. They need to understand the pain they afflict on their wives, children, and other family members affected by their behavior instead of rationalizing it away or making light of it.
In Melania and Ivanka’s case, they have chosen to publicly support Donald Trump even though they must be personally horrified by his sexist remarks. But in their situation, they see more good than bad in sticking by him.
One must wonder if continuing to support a man who is not treating women as equals is really doing any good at all?