Do you have problems with your partner? Do you fight? You’re not alone. It happens almost every day to even the happiest couples, and you need to know that it is OK sometimes. But, you need to be careful because there are some things that can have a bad impact on you, your partner, and your relationship. Here are some things that are almost deadly for couples!
- Attack is Not the Best Defense
If you start your conversation with an attack, it’s only normal that your partner is going to start defending. This might be the most common mistake people make. Try a subtler approach. The best thing here is, when you want to complain about something, first try giving a compliment. Something as simple as a “thank you” can help.
- Who’s to Blame?
If you start blaming your other half, there is a big chance that you will hit conversational wall quickly. There is no need for the blame game. If there is something wrong, it is most likely that both of you are to blame for something. This is a good thing to learn early on in your relationship and you should start employing it right now.
- Who’s Right?
Is that really so important? The only important thing is that you have a good, healthy, and strong relationship. If you start trying to prove you are right, your partner will automatically want to prove their side as well, and that story can go on, and on, and on. In situations like these, you should try and understand your partner, as well as try to share how you feel inside. This way you have a chance to connect on deeper levels.
- I Talk, You Talk
If your partner has something to say, let them speak. You both need to understand that there is a time for them to talk and there has to be time for you to respond as well. If your partner is talking, don’t interrupt them with your thoughts and don’t try to win the conversation like you are on the basketball or tennis court. Use nice, understanding words when possible and most importantly, listen. Don’t think about other things going on in your life at that moment. Focus on the conversation you’re having. If you listen to what your partner has to say, it will be much easier for you to understand their needs to fix whatever might be wrong.
- Stay on Topic
Do you know what a spider web conversation is? It is a kind of conversation where you start talking about everything that comes to your mind in the moment. That’s bad because then you won’t have enough focus and stamina to solve the problem at hand. Going back to old problems only steals your time and energy from this one, and it will lead you in the opposite direction from a solution. Whenever you feel like moving off topic, remind yourself of that. Stay on topic and you have a much better chance of coming to an understanding and a solution.
- Don’t Touch That!
You know your partner’s good and bad sides. You know what to say when he or she is feeling bad and you try to boost their mood. You know what to say if you want to make them mad. Don’t do that. Don’t touch that button. This is one of the worst things that you can do. Your partner needs to feel safe with you. If you use the things that you know about your partner against them, they will feel betrayed. That is a huge step back for your relationship.
Did you ever think about how you would feel if your partner cheated on you? Sure you did. Well, if you know how it might feel, then don’t do it to the person that you love. You have to respect your partner, and cheating and lying do not a good relationship make.
- Don’t Abuse
You need to love each other. Abuse is never acceptable and it will lead to a crash. In spite of what you may think, there is no big difference between verbal and physical abuse. Controlling your partner is a form of this.
- Big Expectations
You need to know what your partner is capable of. Don’t push them to do things that they can’t. If they aren’t feeling good about something, then you need to understand them.
You need to talk with your partner. If you stop sharing your thoughts, there is a big chance that you will begin to grow apart. Once this starts, it is very hard to get back on track. Don’t play with that, because it can destroy your relationship.
- Are You Spending Quality Time Together?
Do you think that you and your partner are spending a lot of time together, but yet fighting about menial things? Well, one of the reasons why this happens is because you place your value on quantity, not quality. It is important to try to take advantage of your common time and to make it the most interesting that you can. Spend some time with your friends and family, enjoy your everyday activities without your partner, and set aside time only for your partner when you can both enjoy things that you like.
- Do You Really Listen to What Your Partner is Saying?
One of the things that can have a bad influence on your relationship is pretending to listen your partner, without really hearing what they’re saying. This can be a very bad habit. If your partner has a feeling that you are not good listener, they will stop talking to you about things that are important to them. Some of those things might be very important to you as well, and you would have missed out. Instead of you, they will choose to share their worries, emotions, and doubts with a friend or confidante. This can seriously lead to alienation. So, next time when your partner has something to say, listen attentively. It is very probable that you will learn something new about your partner, that you will understand them better, and over all your connection will be stronger
A lot of couples have a hard time when it comes to money. Be aware of this and know that you and your partner have something that money can’t buy. So don’t let material matters get in your way.
When it comes to sex, it is important that you don’t let your partner feel unwanted. This one goes for both men and for women. Feeling wanted and needed is a basic human need that if you don’t provide…someone else just might.
- Are You an Addict?
This doesn’t have to be connected to drugs only. Alcohol and gambling are almost the same thing. It is not just bad for the relationship, but also for every other person in your life.
Just remember to mind your manners and think about the other person. Always try to talk and to solve things without a fight. And be careful about the questions you ask as kindness is key to a long-lasting relationship.
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